You wanna get twisted, you've gotta save jazz.
— Donick Cary, Emily Cutler, Heather, Allisyn Ashley Arm, Sweet Low Road
You wanna get twisted, you've gotta save jazz.
— Donick Cary, Emily Cutler, Heather, Allisyn Ashley Arm, Sweet Low Road
Last time I was on a stakeout, I was waiting for a Taco Bell to open. Did you know that they close sometimes? I guess to mop?
— Donick Cary, Emily Cutler, Stef Duncan, Lyric Lewis, Sweet Low Road
Here's your ass lanyard.
— Donick Cary, Emily Cutler, Jack Griffin, Glenn Howerton, Sweet Low Road
All right, if you guys don't know how and when to 'ooh' then just don't 'ooh' at all.
— Donick Cary, Emily Cutler, Jack Griffin, Glenn Howerton, Sweet Low Road
You're a good teacher and a great citizen with an even better posture.
— Donick Cary, Emily Cutler, Principal Durbin, Patton Oswalt, Sweet Low Road
You broke a bad, bad man today, my little cherubs.
— Shelly Gossman, Jack Griffin, Glenn Howerton, Personal Everest
We got to fight for our right to play smooth jazz.
— Donick Cary, Emily Cutler, Victor Kozlowski, Jacob Houston, Sweet Low Road
Killing me slow, out the window I'm always waiting for you to be waiting below Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes What doesn't kill me makes me want you more
I’m a mess. But that’s okay because this is what we signed up for.
Meet the unfluencer, the person who makes me want to do the opposite of whatever she’s doing and throw out whatever I already own that she has posted about.
I haven’t eaten beef since Tupac died.
— Tarik Jackson, I’ve Eaten the New Popeyes Chicken Sandwich Nearly Every Day This Week
Co-sleeping is absolute bullshit. I move to the couch.
— Money Diaries, I'm 35, I Make $305,000, & My Wedding Is In 30 Days
I had eaten my best friend.
— Shelly Gossman, Helen Henry DeMarcus, Paula Pell, Personal Everest
Do you know which wellness-room-and-couch-loving New York Times staffer is gliding from floor to floor in a Pig-Pen–esque cloud of bedbugs, terrorizing booths and colleagues? Have you seen any bedbugs at the Times? Are you a bedbug? Please let us know.
They’re the most honest — especially if you’re talking about teenage girls, but older as well. They have that bullshit detector. You want honest people as your audience. We’re so past that dumb outdated narrative of ‘Oh, these people are girls, so they don’t know what they’re talking about.’ They’re…
Do you think a man would apologize for taking the last community banana?
— Shelly Gossman, Stef Duncan, Lyric Lewis, Personal Everest
Listen up, kiddos. Have your smiles prepped before you go into the frame. Think of something that makes you happy like puppies for me, Nana's brisket, that chubby little kid from 'Up.'
Don't be sorry, be good.
Revenge isn't for everybody, but it has its merits.
Though I do worry hanging out is a gateway drug to harder stuff.