John O'Brien

21 quotes

Association Football Player · United States Of America · Male

All Moonshine (5)Jokes (4)BLowing (1)sucking (1)Good Ol' Boys (1)Jail (1)Sexual Fantasies (1)Divorce (1)Chinese Food (1)Farmer (1)Penitentiary (1)Manwhore (1)Viagra (1)Pardon (1)Donkey (1)

From “The Dukes of Hazzard”

“Bo Duke: Man, I’m never gonna get out of this car again! I’m gonna live in it, I’m gonna eat in it, and I’m gonna make sweet love to it! Luke Duke: You mean you’re gonna make sweet love in it. Bo Duke: Oh no, I’m gonna have sex with it.”

Tagged: sex in a car, sex with a car

“Luke Duke: [Uncle Jesse takes a big gulp of moonshine while being pursued by the police] Stop that! Why are you doin’ that? Uncle Jesse: What I’m about to do, I don’t want to remember a lot of it. [lights a wick in the jar and throws it at the police car chasing them]”

Tagged: Moonshine, Incendiary Devices

“Uncle Jesse: You know why tornadoes and blondes are so much alike? Luke Duke: No. Uncle Jesse: At first, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, and then you lose your house.”

Tagged: sucking, BLowing, tornados, Dumb Blonde Jokes

“You know what happens when a politician takes Viagra? He gets taller.”

Tagged: Viagra, Politicians

“Luke Duke: You thinkin’ about throwin’ that? Uncle Jesse: Oh, I’m gonna throw it...I was thinkin’ about pussy.”

Tagged: Thinking, Pussy, Sexual Fantasies

“Luke, you manwhore.”

Tagged: Manwhore

“Sheev: Have you ever been to China? Have you ever been to China? Bo Duke: I ate Chinese food once.”

Tagged: China, Chinese Food

“[after shooting a gas can with a flaming arrow] Boom-shakalaka.”

Tagged: boom-shakalaka

“[Luke and Bo just failed a moonshine delivery] How many Dukes does it take to screw up a moonshine delivery?”

Tagged: Moonshine

“Just the good ol’ boys/Never meanin’ no harm/Beats all you never saw/Been in trouble with the law since the day they was born/Straightenin’ the curves/Flattenin’ the hills/Someday the mountain might get ’em but the law never will/Makin’ their way the only way they know how/That’s just a little bit…”

Tagged: Good Ol' Boys, Moonshine, Robin Hood

“Luke Duke: [while Bo and Luke are getting arrested in the courthouse] Well, now, I guess the party’s over. Boss Hogg: Damn right it is! As long as I’m the County Commissioner in the great State of Georgia, you two are gonna rot in the penitentiary. Cuff them! Daisy Duke: Excuse me, Rick Shankley? I…”

Tagged: georgia, Penitentiary, Pardon

“Uncle Jesse: Why are divorces so expensive? Luke Duke: Why? Uncle Jesse: 'Cause they’re worth it.”

Tagged: Divorce, expensive, Jokes

“Uncle Jesse: [after Luke crashes through a police roadblock] Give me your goddamn license! Luke Duke: What license?”

Tagged: license, Jokes, Goddamn

“Here’s another one: Drunk walks out of a bar and runs into a guy carrying an antique grandfather clock. The guy drops the clock, breaking into a million pieces. He looks at the drunk and says, ‘Why don’t you watch where you’re going?’ The drunk looks at him and says, ‘Why don’t you carry a…”

Tagged: Drunk, grandfther clock, wristwatch, Jokes

“Uncle Jesse: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion? Luke Duke: What? Uncle Jesse: A piece of ass that brings a tear to your eye.”

Tagged: Jokes, Donkey, onion, Piece of Ass

“Daisy Duke: [Daisy walks into the sheriff’s office wearing a very revealing bikini] Enos? [leans in very close to him] Where’s Boss Hogg holding Uncle Jesse and Pauline? Deputy Enos Strate: Uh, out at your farm. Daisy Duke: Thanks, Enos. [gets up and walks off smiling] That’s got to be a new record.”

Tagged: Sexy

“Uncle Jesse: What do you call a farmer with a sheep under each arm? Luke Duke: What? Uncle Jesse: A playboy.”

Tagged: Farmer, Sheep, Playboy

“I think something bounced up in my undercarriage.”

Tagged: Double Entendre

“Daisy Duke: They planted a still on our farm. Pauline: They planted a still? Why would they have to plant a still? Daisy Duke: ‘Cause they’re too damn dumb to find our real still.”

Tagged: Moonshine

“Daisy Duke: You know what’s gonna happen? They’re gonna get caught and get thrown in jail. Then I’m gonna have to shake my ass at somebody to get them out. Uncle Jesse: That’s why we love ya, honey.”

Tagged: Jail, ass

John O'Brien

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