“Nightmares in other states are just visions of what’s really going on in Florida.”Tagged: Florida Jokes, Florida
“You won’t find a Jacuzzi in Florida, because if a Floridian wanted to suffocate themselves in hot steam they would just walk outside.”Tagged: Jacuzzi, Florida, Florida Jokes, Humidity, Heat
“Whenever I hear a scientist say Jupiter is uninhabitable I always just assume they’re talking about the city in Florida.”Tagged: Scientists, jupiter, Florida, Florida Jokes
“Florida is so hot that people crowd around fire to cool down.”Tagged: Florida, Florida Heat, Florida Jokes
“Florida is the only state in the union where zombie-like face-eating is a legitimate concern and where a Category 4 hurricane is considered a mild weather condition.”Tagged: Florida, Hurricanes, Florida Jokes, zombies, bath salts
“Florida is so hot that when old people retire and move to Florida it’s because they want to start practicing for hell.”Tagged: Florida Jokes, Florida, Heat
“They call Florida the ‘Sunshine State,’ which is funny because in the twelve years I lived here, it was only sunny for like twenty minutes—when the eye of the hurricane passed over my house.”Tagged: Florida, Florida Jokes, Florida Heat, Sunshine State, Hurricanes
“The only difference between Florida and an oven is that an oven doesn’t produce serial killers.”Tagged: Florida, Florida Heat, Florida Jokes
“Florida is so hot that when you die and go to hell, you wake up in Boca Raton.”Tagged: Florida Jokes, Heat, Boca Raton
“What’s the worst thing about ancient history class? The teachers tend to Babylon.”Tagged: Puns, Bad Jokes, Babylon
“What did the buffalo say to his son as he left for college? Bison.”Tagged: Buffalo, Bison, College, Puns, Bad Jokes
“What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.”Tagged: Bad Jokes, Elephants, Puns
“What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.”Tagged: Hippo, zippo, Lighters, Puns
“If you want a job in the moisturizer industry, the best advice I can give is to apply daily.”Tagged: Bad Jokes, Puns, Moisturizer
“Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I liked it.”Tagged: Stockholm Syndrome, Irony, Bad Jokes
“Why doesn’t anyone want to shave a crazy sheep? Cause it’s a baaaaaaaaaad idea.”Tagged: Funny, Puns, amusing