Show

Seinfeld

by Larry Charles, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tom Cherones, Barbara Stock and 696 others

Seinfeld is an American television sitcom that originally aired on NBC from July 5, 1989, to May 14, 1998. It lasted nine seasons, and is now in syndication. It was created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld, the latter starring as a fictionalized version

(684 total)

Seasons

Season 1 (15)Season 2 (55)Season 3 (101)Season 4 (109)Season 5 (97)Season 6 (82)Season 7 (83)Season 8 (79)Season 9 (59)

Characters

Jerry Seinfeld (476)Larry David (265)Jason Alexander (179)George Costanza (179)Michael Richards (99)Cosmo Kramer (99)Larry Charles (92)Peter Mehlman (91)Elaine Benes (59)Julia Louis-Dreyfus (59)

“You don't understand. A garage. I can't even pull in there. It's like going to a prostitute. Why should I pay, when if I apply myself, maybe I could get it for free?”

— Greg Daniels, Larry David, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Parking, prostitution, Cheapness

“What is it about sleep that makes you so thirsty? Do dreams require liquid? It's not like I'm running a marathon, I'm just lying there.”

— Larry Charles, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Sleep, Thirst

“Because I'm like ice, buddy. When I don't like you, you've got problems.”

— Greg Daniels, Larry David, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

Tagged: Threats, Coldness

“The appeal of the posse? The posse has tremendous appeal. Get away from the job, camp out, you're with your friends....Come on, it's a week-long game of hide-and-seek on horseback.”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Posses, Male Bonding, camping

“He is a loathsome, offensive brute, yet I can't look away.”

— Larry David, Mr. Armstrong, Elliott Reed, imdb.com

Tagged: Attraction, repulsion, Art Criticism, Painting

“You know what I would like to do? I would really like to have sex with a tall woman. I mean really tall. Like a like a giant Like six-five.”

— Larry David, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Macrophilia, Fetish, Giantesses

“It's not so much the looking as the listening. I listen for work. And as I'm looking and listening I am also looking. You can't discount looking. It's sort of a combination. It's looking and listening, listening and looking. But you must look.”

— Larry David, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Employment, Job Hunt

“She missed her period? Oh my god. I can't believe it! I'm a father! I did it! My boys can swim! I can do it! I can do it!”

— Elaine Pope, Larry Charles, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: menstruation, Sperm, periods, Fertility, Pregnancy

“What's the matter with you? Now don't you two see that you're in love with each other? I mean, why can't you face that already? You're running around out there looking for something that's not even there, when everything that you dream of is right here, right here in front of you.”

— Elaine Pope, Larry Charles, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

Tagged: Love, Fighting

“I left three messages. I can't believe this woman. She has sex with me, leaves ten minutes later, then I never hear from her again. What kind of a person does this? I mean, she used me. I feel cheap and violated.”

— Elaine Pope, Larry Charles, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Voicemail, Ghosting, Sex, Violation

“Well, let me tell you something about George. He is fast. He can run like the wind. And he's strong. I've seen him lift a hundred pounds over his head without even knowing it. And you wouldn't know it to look at him, but George can bait a hook.”

— Elaine Pope, Larry Charles, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Dating, Masculinity, Strength And Beauty

“I don't want hope. Hope is killing me. My dream is to become hopeless. When you're hopeless, you don't care, and when you don't care, that indifference makes you attractive.”

— Elaine Pope, Larry Charles, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Hope, Indifference, Attraction, Hopelessness

“I've never assisted in a birth before. It’s really quite disgusting.”

— Tom Leopold, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Childbirth, Gross, disgusting

“How long do you have to wait for a guy to come out of a coma before you ask his ex-girlfriend out?”

— Tom Leopold, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Comas, Dating Etiquette, Exes

“I mean the problem is that the good ones know they're good. And they know they're in such demand they're just not interested in confining themselves to one person.”

— Elaine Pope, Larry Charles, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, imdb.com

Tagged: Dating, Good Guys, Players

“A preemptive breakup. This is an incredible idea. I got nothing to lose. We either break up, which she would do anyway, but at least I go out with some dignity. Completely turn the tables. It's absolutely brilliant.”

— Larry David, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Breakups, Preemptive Breakups, Dating, Upper Hand

“I don’t get you. Who goes on vacation without a job? What do you need a break from getting up at eleven?”

— Tom Leopold, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: laziness, Unemployment, Vacations

“Lunch is fine at the beginning, then you move on to dinner. You don't move back to lunch. It's like being demoted.”

— Larry David, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Dating, Lunch, Dinner

“The thing I don’t understand about the suicide person is the people who try and commit suicide for some reason they don’t die and that’s it. They stop trying. Why? Why don’t they just keep trying? What has changed? Is their life any better now? No. In fact, it’s worse because now they’ve found out o…”

— Tom Leopold, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Suicide, Botched Suicide Attempts, Goals

“I'm very uncomfortable. I have no power. I mean, why should she have the upper hand. Once in my life I would like the upper hand. I have no hand—no hand at all. She has the hand; I have no hand.”

— Larry David, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Comfort, Dominance, Submission, Relationships