Season

Season 8

by Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, Andy Ackerman and 160 others

Season eight of Seinfeld, an American comedy television series created by Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David, began airing on September 19, 1996, and concluded on May 15, 1997, on NBC.

(79 total)

Characters

Jerry Seinfeld (30)George Costanza (19)Jason Alexander (19)Spike Feresten (13)Peter Mehlman (12)David Mandel (12)Steve Koren (12)Cosmo Kramer (11)Andy Robin (11)Michael Richards (11)

“Jerry: Hello, Newman. Newman: Hello, Jerry.”

— Jennifer Crittenden, Newman, Wayne Knight, imdb.com

Tagged: Hello Newman

“George: I gotta call Elaine. Jerry: She’s out. George: Oh, yeah. The blind date. Jerry: They call it a setup, now. I guess the blind people don’t like being associated with all those losers.”

— Spike Feresten, imdb.com

Tagged: blind dates, Blind People, losers

“George: She’s got a little Marisa Tomei thing goin’ on. Jerry: Ah, too bad you’ve got a little George Costanza thing goin’ on.”

— Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Marisa Tomei, Unmatched Partners

“Jerry: Father, I’ve never done this before, so I’m not sure about what I’m supposed to do. Priest: All right, my son. You can start by telling me your sins. Jerry: Well, I’m Jewish. Priest: Well that’s no sin,. Jerry: Oh…”

— Jill Franklyn, Peter Mehlman, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Confession, Priests, Catholicism, Jewish, Sin

“I love a good nap. Sometimes it's the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning.”

— Gregg Kavet, Andy Robin, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Nap, Sleeping

“What's the deal with airplane peanuts?”

— Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Airplane Peanuts, Jokes, Standup Comics

“Because men think if women are grabbing and clawing at each other there's a chance they might somehow kiss.”

— Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Catfights, erotica, Lesbianism

“Because they're terrified of her. I heard from someone that when they cut one of her lines, she climbed up the rope on side of the stage and started dropping lights on people’s heads. Story like that has got to be true.”

— Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

Tagged: Raquel Welch, Prima Donnas, Divas, Temper, Violence Against Planned Parenthood

“I know what you thought. They don't have homes, they don't have jobs, what do they need the top of a muffin for? They're lucky to get the stumps.”

— Spike Feresten, Rebecca, Sony Eddy, imdb.com

Tagged: Poverty, Unemployment, homeless

“Frolf: Frisbee golf, Jerry. Golf with a Frisbee. This is gonna be my time. Time to taste the fruits and let the juices drip down my chin. I proclaim this: The Summer of George!”

— Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Frolf, Frisbee Golf, Frisbee, Golf, Summer

“The last thing this guy's qualified to give a tour of is reality.”

— Spike Feresten, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Sarcasm, Reality

“It's the best part. It's crunchy, it's explosive, it's where the muffin breaks free of the pan and sort of does its own thing. I'll tell you. That's a million-dollar idea right there. Just sell the tops.”

— Spike Feresten, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, imdb.com

Tagged: Muffin Tops, Entrepreneurs, Million-Dollar Idea

“If you can call it that. Why is it every halfwit and sitcom star has his own book out now?”

— Spike Feresten, Mr. Lippman, Harris Shore, imdb.com

Tagged: Sitcom Stars, Halfwits, celebrity, Vanity, Publishing

“Elaine, these ideas are all in the air. They're in the air.”

— Spike Feresten, Mr. Lippman, Harris Shore, imdb.com

Tagged: Ideas, Plagiarism

“We wanna look to the future, we gotta tear down the past. Babe Ruth was nothing more than a fat old man, with little-girl legs. And here's something I just found out recently. He wasn't really a sultan. Ah, what d'you make of that? Hey, check this out. Lou Gehrig's pants. Not a bad fit. Hey, you don…”

— Jennifer Crittenden, George Steinbrenner, Larry David, imdb.com

Tagged: Babe Ruth, Sultan of Swat, Lou Gehrig, baseball, Future

“It's taken me thirteen years to climb up to the top of that speed dial, and I don't intend to lose my spot to you.”

— Jennifer Crittenden, Mrs. Hamilton, Louan Gideon, imdb.com

Tagged: Speed Dial, Competition

“All right. I guess I just have to pick myself up, dust myself off, and throw myself right back down again!”

— Jennifer Crittenden, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Self-deprecation

“So you want to go out in a final blaze of incompetence?”

— Jennifer Crittenden, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: incompetence

“You're a rabid anti-dentite! Oh, it starts with a few jokes and some slurs. ‘Hey, denty!’ Next thing you know you're saying they should have their own schools.”

— Jill Franklyn, Peter Mehlman, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

Tagged: Anti-Dentite, Anti-Semite, Slurs

“Don't you see what Whatley is after? Total joke-telling immunity. He's already got the two big religions covered, if he ever gets Polish citizenship, there'll be no stopping him.”

— Jill Franklyn, Peter Mehlman, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Judaism, Christianity, Jokes, Joke-Telling Immunity, Polish Jokes