Season

Season 7

by Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Andy Ackerman, Mailon Rivera, Wayne Knight and 142 others

Season seven of Seinfeld, an American comedy television series created by Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David, began airing on September 21, 1995, and concluded on May 16, 1996, on NBC.

(83 total)

Characters

Jerry Seinfeld (45)Larry David (23)George Costanza (21)Jason Alexander (21)Peter Mehlman (15)Gregg Kavet (13)Andy Robin (13)Cosmo Kramer (11)Michael Richards (11)Spike Feresten (10)

“Jerry: You will be stunned. Elaine: Stunned by soup? Jerry: You can’t eat this soup standing up. Your knees buckle.”

— Spike Feresten, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, imdb.com

Tagged: Stunned, Soup, Delicious

“You’re through, Soup Nazi. Pack it up. No more soup for you. Next!”

— Spike Feresten, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, imdb.com

Tagged: Soup, Nazis, Soup Nazi

“George: Why do they make the condom packets so hard to open? Jerry: Probably to give the woman a chance to change her mind.”

— Peter Mehlman, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: condoms, Abstinence

“Oh, it is wonderful dating in Miami. All the single men under 80 are cocaine smugglers.”

— Susan Harris, Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak, Bea Arthur, imdb.com

Tagged: Miami, Dating, Cocaine

“Rose: What a day. One sad person after another. Dorothy: Rose, you work at grief counseling. What do you expect, comedians?”

— Susan Harris, Rose Nylund, Betty White, imdb.com

Tagged: Sadness, Comedians, Grief Counseling, Comebacks

“All of a sudden it hit me, I realized what the problem is: I can't be with someone like me. I hate myself! If anything, I need to get the exact opposite of me. It's too much. It's too much, I can't take it. I can't take it….”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Self-hatred, Dating, Opposite, Opposites Attract

“Now I know what I've been looking for all these years...myself.”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Self-Love, Narcissus

“Hey! So what's the deal with brunch? I mean that if it's a combination of breakfast and lunch, how comes there's no ‘lupper’ or no ‘linner’?”

— Larry David, Jeannie Steinman, Janeane Garofalo, imdb.com

Tagged: Lunch, Brunch, Dinner, Linner, Supper

“Articulate—me? I've never articulated anything, I'm completely incoherent.”

— Matt Selman, Peter Mehlman, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Articulate, Incoherent, Self-Deprecating

“Well, I just want you to know I'm there for you. Course now I'm here for you, but when I'm not here for you, I'm there for you.”

— Matt Selman, Peter Mehlman, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: There For You, manipulation, Emotional Support, Breakups

“Hey! what's the deal with decaf? How do they get the caffeine out of there and then where does it go?”

— Larry David, Jeannie Steinman, Janeane Garofalo, imdb.com

Tagged: Decaf, Coffee, Caffeine

“I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm a US postal worker and my mail truck was just ambushed by a band of backwoods mail-hating survivalists.”

— Gregg Kavet, Andy Robin, Newman, Wayne Knight, imdb.com

Tagged: Survivalists, Mailmen, US Postal Workers, Backwoods

“Yeah, don't worry, Jerry. We're right on this guy like stink on a monkey.”

— Gregg Kavet, Andy Robin, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

Tagged: Chases, stink, Monkey

“What about drugs? You doing some of that crack cocaine? You on the pipe?”

— Gregg Kavet, Andy Robin, George Steinbrenner, Larry David, imdb.com

Tagged: Crack, Drugs, Crack Pipe

“It seems that a psychotic mechanic has absconded with my friend's car.”

— Gregg Kavet, Andy Robin, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, imdb.com

Tagged: Psychotic, Mechanic, Grand Theft Auto

“Here's what I wanna do. I wanna overhaul the entire engine. But it's gonna take a major commitment from you. You're gonna have to keep it under sixty miles an hour for a while. You gotta come in, and you gotta get the oil changed every thousand miles.”

— Gregg Kavet, Andy Robin, Tony, Brad Garrett, imdb.com

Tagged: Automotive Car, Automotive Maintenance, Oil Changes

“Listen, that registration may have your name on it, Jerry. But this engine's running on my sweat and my blood.”

— Gregg Kavet, Andy Robin, Tony, Brad Garrett, imdb.com

Tagged: Psychotic, Sweat and Blood

“So let me ask you a question about the tip jar. I had a little thing with the calzone guy this week. I go to drop a buck in the tip jar and just as I am about to drop it in he looks the other way. And then when I am leaving he gives me this look think thanks for nothing. I mean, if they don't notice…”

— Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Calzones, Tipping, Tip Jar

“When I find something I like, I stick with it. From 1973 to 1982 I ate the exact same lunch every day: turkey chili in a bowl made out of bread. Bread bowl, George. First you eat the chili then you eat the bowl. There's nothing more satisfying than looking down after lunch and seeing nothing but a t…”

— Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, George Steinbrenner, Larry David, imdb.com

Tagged: Bread Bowl, Lunch, Dietary Habits, Turkey Chili

“I don't understand this. Why wouldn't you want to get something that's better if I'm telling you it's better? And it's not a little better—it's much better.”

— Tom Gammill, Max Pross, Tom Gammill and Max Pross, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Electric Toothbrush, Free Will