South Park

“Stan: I don't want to shoot the bunny. Jimbo: No nephew of mine is going to be a tree-hugger! Cartman: Yeah, hippie! Go back to Woodstock if you don't want to shoot anything!”

— Matt Stone, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Stan: My uncle Jimbo says that after this he's gonna take me hunting in Africa. Kyle: Wow. That'd be cool. Cartman: My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.”

— Matt Stone, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Jimbo: Okay, each of you young'uns take a gun, a beer, and some smokes. Cartman: Hey! I didn't get a gun! [Jimbo gives a rifle to Cartman] Sweet. This is like the gun I used in 'Nam. Stan: You weren't in Vietnam, Cartman! Ned: Were you stationed in DA Nang? Stan: Cartman always makes stuff up, Ned,…”

— Matt Stone, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Stan: Dude, Dolphins are intelligent and friendly. Cartman: Intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonnaise!”

— Matt Stone, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Stan: That's impossible! Cartman wouldn't know a rainforest from a Pop-Tart! Cartman: Yeah, I do! Pop-Tarts are frosted!”

— Matt Stone, Trey Parker, Stan Marsh, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Kyle: Whoa, Cartman. Talk about wide load. Cartman: Yeah, I'm really starting to fill out nicely. Kyle: You're not filling out nicely, you're fatter than ever! Cartman: I'm not fat! I'm getting in shape! Kyle: Cartman, you're such a fat boy, that when you walk down the street, people go 'God damn it…”

— Matt Stone, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Cartman: If dolphins are so smart, why do they live in igloos? Stan: Dolphins don't live in igloos! That's Eskimos! Cartman: Dolphins, Eskimos, who cares? It's all a bunch of tree-hugging hippie crap.”

— Matt Stone, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Tough Guy: Get some today, and say with me—Beefcake! Cartman: Beefcake. Tough Guy: BEEFCAKE!! Cartman: Beefcake! Tough Guy/Cartman: BEEEFFCAAAAAKE!!! Announcer: May cause irreversible damage to the kidneys and liver.”

— Matt Stone, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“If dolphins are so smart, why do they get caught in those fishing nets all the time?”

— Matt Stone, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Kyle: [speaking to aliens] V-Visitors? This morning you took my brother, Ike. [sad, dramatic music begins playing] He's a little freckled kid that looks like a football. At first, I was happy you took him away, but I've learned something today: That having a little brother is a pretty special thing.…”

— Matt Stone, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Follow your dreams, you can reach your goals, I'm living proof. Beefcake! Beefcake!”

— Matt Stone, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Stan: Thanks for your help, Wendy. Wendy: Whatever, dude. I promise me you'll be here. Stan: Hey, I didn't throw up. Wendy: Cool! We're always be together. [She's happy now. They both look at each other like they're going to kiss, and romantic music plays. Wendy puckers up. Stan gets queasy and vomi…”

— Matt Stone, Trey Parker, Stan Marsh, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Okay, that does it! Now listen! Why is it that everything today has involved things either going in or coming out of my ass?! I'm sick of it! It's completely immature! [Cartman simultaneously farts fire and a satellite dish comes out of his bottom]”

— Matt Stone, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Kyle: Well, it looks like she's not going to show up, Stan. Let's go look for the visitors, now. Stan: But her note said she'd be here. [Wendy appears out of nowhere] Wendy: Hi, Stan. want to catch. [Stan sees Wendy, then throws up] Eww! Kyle: You can't talk to Stan, Wendy. He throws up when you do.…”

— Matt Stone, Trey Parker, Stan Marsh, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“[after seeing a crop circle on the news that looks just like him] Cartman: Hey, that kind of looks like...Tom Selleck.”

— Matt Stone, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Kyle: Dude, I have to save Ike! I don't even know what to do! Stan: Well, we can't do anything now; that fat bitch won't let us. Ms. Crabtree: [shouts] WHAT DID YOU SAY? Stan: I said, 'Rabbits eat lettuce.' Ms. Crabtree: Oh. Well, yes, they certainly do.”

— Trey Parker, Kyle Broflovski, Matt Stone, imdb.com

“Kyle: [into Cartman's ear] Hey, if you visitors can hear me, bring me back my little brother, goddamn it! Cartman: Ow, that hurt, you buttlicker!”

— Trey Parker, Kyle Broflovski, Matt Stone, imdb.com

“Kyle: Ready, Ike? Kick the baby! Ike: Don't kick the baby! Kyle: Kick the baby. [kicks Ike across the street, knocking over a row of mailboxes]”

— Trey Parker, Kyle Broflovski, Matt Stone, imdb.com

“Ms. Crabtree: SHUT UP BACK THERE! ARRRGGGHHH!!! Stan: Yeah, whatever, ya fat bitch. Ms. Crabtree: WHAT DID YOU SAY?! Stan: I said, 'I have a bad itch.' Ms. Crabtree: Oh.”

— Matt Stone, Stan Marsh, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Chef: [gets out of his car] Hello there, children! Boys: Hey, Chef! Stan: What's going to be for lunch today, Chef? Chef: Well, today, it's Salisbury steak with buttered noodles, and a choice of green-bean casserole or vegetable medley. Cartman: Kick ass.”

— Matt Stone, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com