“God used to create universes and flood the entire Earth. Now he appears on toast. Anyone else less than impressed with the Almighty’s recent behavior?”Tagged: God, Universe
“If God is everywhere always...he’s spending a lot of time hanging out in strip joints. Filthy bastard!”Tagged: God, Strip Clubs, Bastard
“How do you teach a bunch of kids about God—who He is, and what He does? Gather them all in a classroom. Then never show up.”Tagged: God, Classroom, Teachers, Religion
“Why is it that when you talk to God, it’s called praying? Whenever God talks to me, they call it schizophrenia.”Tagged: God, prayer, Schizophrenia
“They say that when you die you become closer to God. Because you no longer fucking exist, right?”Tagged: God, Death
“My husband and I divorced for religious reasons. He thought he was God. I didn’t.”Tagged: husband, Divorce, God, Religion
“Why does everyone pray in the aftermath of a disaster? Hasn’t God just proved He doesn’t give a fuck?”Tagged: disaster, prayer, Religion
“Bacon proves God has a sense of humor. He invents the greatest meat in the world, then bans His chosen people from eating it.”Tagged: God, Meat, Chosen People
“What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? Their balls are just for decoration.”Tagged: Christmas, Christmas Tree, priest, balls
“How is God just like a regular man? If you’re not on your knees, he’s not interested.”Tagged: God, Men, feminism
“‘Doctor, Doctor. I feel like a pair of curtains.’ ‘That’s the least of your worries. You’re HIV-positive.’”Tagged: HIV, Anti-Jokes