Season

Season 3

by Larry Charles, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tom Cherones, Barbara Stock and 100 others

Season three of Seinfeld, an American television series created by Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David, began airing on September 18, 1991 on NBC, a U.S. broadcast television network. It comprises 23 episodes and concluded its initial airing on May 6, 1992. "T

(101 total)

Characters

Jerry Seinfeld (81)Larry David (54)Jason Alexander (31)George Costanza (31)Larry Charles (27)Cosmo Kramer (15)Michael Richards (15)Tom Leopold (15)Elaine Benes (7)Julia Louis-Dreyfus (7)

“What could possess anyone to throw a party? I mean, to have a bunch of strangers treat your house like a hotel room.”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: parties, Hotel Rooms, Bad Guests, Strangers Asking Things Of You

“The technical term for a nose job is rhinoplasty. Rhino, okay? Do we really need to insult the person at this particular moment of their lives? They know they have a big nose, that's why they're coming in. Do they really need the abuse of being compared to a rhinoceros on top of everything else? Whe…”

— Peter Mehlman, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Rhinoplasty, Nose Jobs, Baldness, Insensitivity

“I can always tell when a woman likes me, they always somehow let you know. With me, they could torture me, I wouldn't tell them. If anything I'd try to make them think I don't like them, then they think, ‘Oh, look at this guy, he's not even looking at me, he must have something going for him.’”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Aloofness, Attraction, Game Theory

“Look at you! Look at what you've sunk to! Look at what you've become! Look in the mirror, ’cause you need help, Jerry. You need help, because I can't stand by and do it anymore. It's turning my stomach! I can't stand around here watching you destroy yourself. It's eating me up inside.”

— Peter Mehlman, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

Tagged: Pity, Despair, Hitting Bottom

“I have never been so repulsed by someone mentally and so attracted to them physically at the same time. It's like my brain is facing my penis in a chess game. And I'm letting him win.”

— Peter Mehlman, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: beauty, repulsion, stupidity, Chess, penis

“You haven't won. You may think you've won, but you haven't won. Do you know why? It's not over. This is not over. I'm not forgetting what's happening here. You have my ten dollars. I will get it back. All right, don't worry. It's not over. I'm going now. Goodbye. I will be back.”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Revenge, Shoplifting

“I mean, I should be grateful someone like her even looks at me. I have no job, nothing. But I have to say, I think about the nose. I don't want to think about the nose. I don't ask to think about the nose, but I think about it. I go to bed at night, I tell myself, ‘Don't think about the nose, forget…”

— Peter Mehlman, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Rhinoplasty, Big Noses

“No baldness; it'd be like a nation of Supermen.”

— Don McEnery, Larry David, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Baldness, Supermen

“You bad man! You very, very bad man.”

— Tom Leopold, Babu Bhatt, Brian George, imdb.com

Tagged: Bad Men, Evil

“Doesn't the fat fetish conflict with the minimalism?”

— Don McEnery, Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Minimalism, Fat Fetish

“Quiet! You shut up! You make me change restaurant, but nobody comes! You say make Pakistani, Babu Bhatt have only Pakistani restaurant. But where are people? You see people? Show me people. There are no people.”

— Tom Leopold, Babu Bhatt, Brian George, imdb.com

Tagged: Betrayal, fury, Anger, Failure

“I am such a great guy. Who else would've gone through the trouble of helping this poor immigrant? I am special. My mother was right. Of course, I've never had Pakistani food. How bad it could be?”

— Tom Leopold, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Self-Aggrandizement, Immigrants

“Very good? No, not very good, very great. I am very, very great.”

— Tom Leopold, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Self-Aggrandizement

“You should've seen her face. It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.”

— Tom Leopold, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Disappointment, Secrets, Parents, Ventriloquism

“You know, people think I'm smart, but I'm not smart.”

— Tom Leopold, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Intelligence, Self-deprecation

“Very kind. I am a kind man. Who else would do something like this? Nobody. Nobody thinks about people like I do. All right, snap out of it, you stupid jerk. You're eating a turkey sandwich. What do want, a Nobel Prize?”

— Tom Leopold, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: kindness, Nobel Prize, Self-Aggrandizement

“She thinks I'm a nice guy. Women always think I'm nice, but women don't like nice….Why is nice bad? What kind of sick society we are living in, when nice is bad?”

— Tom Leopold, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: nice guys, Men, Women, Dating, Attraction

“It's like a spider in the toilet struggling for a survival. And even if you know it's not going to make it, you kind of root it for a while.”

— Tom Leopold, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Spiders, Survival, Doom

“Boy, those Scientologists. They can be pretty sensitive.”

— Larry David, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Scientology, Sensitivity

“I once saw this thing on TV with people who are terminally ill. And they all believed the secret of life is just to live every moment.”

— Larry David, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

Tagged: Terminal Illness, Living In The Moment, TV