Show

Seinfeld

by Larry Charles, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tom Cherones, Barbara Stock and 696 others

Seinfeld is an American television sitcom that originally aired on NBC from July 5, 1989, to May 14, 1998. It lasted nine seasons, and is now in syndication. It was created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld, the latter starring as a fictionalized version

(684 total)

Seasons

Season 1 (15)Season 2 (55)Season 3 (101)Season 4 (109)Season 5 (97)Season 6 (82)Season 7 (83)Season 8 (79)Season 9 (59)

Characters

Jerry Seinfeld (476)Larry David (265)Jason Alexander (179)George Costanza (179)Michael Richards (99)Cosmo Kramer (99)Larry Charles (92)Peter Mehlman (91)Elaine Benes (59)Julia Louis-Dreyfus (59)

“Now, the ending is kind of an option. I use the swirl. I like the swirl. I'm comfortable with the swirl. I feel the swirl is a great capper. He uses the pinch, which I find a little presumptuous.”

— Marjorie Gross, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Sex, The Move, David Puddy

“Well, all those mechanics do is work all day with their hands and their big, muscular arms on machines, and then they come home dripping with animal sexuality like Stanley Kowalski. What a huge turnoff that is.”

— Marjorie Gross, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, imdb.com

Tagged: Mechanics, Attraction, Manual Labor, muscles, Stanley Kowalski

“Have you ever met a proctologist? Well, they usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away. Plant yourself there, because you will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. Never!…”

— Marjorie Gross, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

Tagged: Proctologists, Rectal Foreign Objects, parties

“You see Elaine, Billy was a simple country boy. You might say a cockeyed optimist who got himself mixed up in the high stakes game of world diplomacy and international intrigue.”

— Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

Tagged: Book Plots, World Diplomacy, International Intrigue

“You're not out there! You can't be, because I am out there. And if I see you out there, there's not enough voltage in this world to electroshock me back into coherence!”

— Marjorie Gross, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Dating, Out There, Electroshock Therapy

“I waited all year for this. Oooh, this is fantastic. Makes your taste buds come alive. It's like having a circus in your mouth.”

— Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

Tagged: Peaches, Mackinaw Peaches, Appetite

“You know, I went out once with a nude model. Never let me see her naked. Hundreds of people see her naked every week, except me. Needless to say, it was quite vexing.”

— Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Nude Models, Jealousy, Nudity

“You see the thing of it is, there's a lot of ugly people out there walking around, but they don't know they're ugly, because nobody actually tells them.”

— Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: ugliness, Bluntness, Honesty

“You know that just admitting a man is handsome doesn't necessarily make you a homosexual.”

— Gregg Kavet, Andy Robin, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, imdb.com

Tagged: Homophobia

“Well, let’s see what I have today. Darn it. It's ham and cheese again and she forgot the fancy mustard. I told her I like that fancy mustard. You could put that fancy mustard on a shoe and it would taste pretty good to me. Oh! She made it up with a cupcake, though. Hey look at this. You know, I got…”

— Gregg Kavet, Andy Robin, George Steinbrenner, Larry David, imdb.com

Tagged: George Steinbrenner, Lunch, Mustard, Cupcakes

“Jimmy’s gonna get you, Kramer! Hands off Jimmy! Don’t touch Jimmy! Let go of Jimmy!”

— Gregg Kavet, Andy Robin, Jimmy, Anthony Starke, imdb.com

Tagged: Self-Referential, Third Person, Threats

“You know, selling bras exclusively to women, we're really only utilizing fifty percent of the market.”

— Tom Gammill, Max Pross, Tom Gammill and Max Pross, Sid Farkus, Patrick Cronin, imdb.com

Tagged: Male Bras, Bras, Underwear, Bro, Mansiere

“Cold showers? They're for psychotics.”

— Gregg Kavet, Andy Robin, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Showers, Cold Showers, Psychosis

“Hey George, what do you like better? The ‘bro’ or the ‘mansiere’?”

— Tom Gammill, Max Pross, Tom Gammill and Max Pross, Frank Costanza, Jerry Stiller, imdb.com

Tagged: Male Bras, Bras, Bro, Mansiere, Man Boobs

“I lived with him for forty years, I never saw him trying on my underwear. As soon as he leaves the house, he turns into J. Edgar Hoover!”

— Tom Gammill, Max Pross, Tom Gammill and Max Pross, Estelle Costanza, Estelle Harris, imdb.com

Tagged: Cross-Dressing, Transvestitism, J. Edgar Hoover, Bro, Mansiere

“You really think you're better than me, don't you?”

— Tom Gammill, Max Pross, Tom Gammill and Max Pross, The Doorman, Larry Miller, imdb.com

Tagged: Envy, Class Differences, Doormen

“You should be thanking me for liberating you from your world of loneliness and isolation. Now you're part of a family.”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

Tagged: Loneliness, Isolation, Sociability, Family

“A bra is for ladies. I'm talking about a support undergarment specifically designed for men.”

— Tom Gammill, Max Pross, Tom Gammill and Max Pross, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

Tagged: Male Bras, Bras, Mansiere, Bro, Underwear

“If everybody knew everybody, we wouldn't have the problems we have in the world today. Well, you don't rob somebody if you know their name!”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

Tagged: Society, Community, Friendliness

“I tell you, when she threw that toupee out the window, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I feel like my old self again. Totally inadequate, completely insecure, paranoid, neurotic, it's a pleasure.”

— Carol Leifer, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Toupees, Baldness, Insecure, Paranoid, neurotic