Show

Seinfeld

by Larry Charles, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tom Cherones, Barbara Stock and 696 others

Seinfeld is an American television sitcom that originally aired on NBC from July 5, 1989, to May 14, 1998. It lasted nine seasons, and is now in syndication. It was created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld, the latter starring as a fictionalized version

(684 total)

Seasons

Season 1 (15)Season 2 (55)Season 3 (101)Season 4 (109)Season 5 (97)Season 6 (82)Season 7 (83)Season 8 (79)Season 9 (59)

Characters

Jerry Seinfeld (476)Larry David (265)Jason Alexander (179)George Costanza (179)Michael Richards (99)Cosmo Kramer (99)Larry Charles (92)Peter Mehlman (91)Elaine Benes (59)Julia Louis-Dreyfus (59)

“George: She calls me up at my office. She says, ‘We have to talk.’ Jerry: Ugh. The four worst words in the English language. George: That or ‘Whose bra is this?’ Jerry: That’s worse.”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: We Have To Talk, English Language

“Elaine: My father thought George was gay. Jerry: It must have been the singing. Elaine: No, he pretty much thinks everybody’s gay.”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, imdb.com

Tagged: Homophobia, gay

“We don’t know how long this will last. They are a very festive people.”

— Gregg Kavet, David Mandel, Bruce Eric Kaplan, Spike Feresten, Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, Dan O'Keeffe, Andy Robin, Steve Koren, Jennifer Crittenden, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, imdb.com

Tagged: Puerto Ricans, Festive

“Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For?”

— Ron Hague, Ron Hauge, Charlie rubin, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Tolstoy, War and Piece, Edwin Starr, War What Is It Good For?

“If you can’t say something bad about a relationship you shouldn’t say anything at all.”

— Larry David, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Relationships, Bad, If You Can't Say Something Nice...

“Elaine: All right, let’s go, I’ll give you half an hour. Jerry: You’re serious? Elaine: Jerry, we have to have sex to save the friendship. Jerry: Sex to SAVE the friendship. Well if we have to, we have to.”

— Lawrence H. Levy, Larry David, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, imdb.com

Tagged: Sex, Sex and Friendships

“Moles—freckles' ugly cousin.”

— Gregg Kavet, Andy Robin, Darin Henry, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

Tagged: Moles, Freckles, Ugly Cousin, Melanoma

“Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon, I realized there had to be another way. Kramer: What happened to the doll? Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was…”

— Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, Dan O'Keeffe, Frank Costanza, Jerry Stiller, imdb.com

Tagged: Christmas, Christmas Shopping, Festivus

“This woman hates me so much, I’m starting to like her.”

— Larry Charles, Peter Mehlman, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Masochism

“George: She’s got a little Marisa Tomei thing goin’ on. Jerry: Ah, too bad you’ve got a little George Costanza thing goin’ on.”

— Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Marisa Tomei, Unmatched Partners

“Elaine: Perhaps there’s more to Newman than meets the eye. Jerry: No, there’s less.”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: More than Meets The Eye

“George: Why do they make the condom packets so hard to open? Jerry: Probably to give the woman a chance to change her mind.”

— Peter Mehlman, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: condoms, Abstinence

“Jerry: Father, I’ve never done this before, so I’m not sure about what I’m supposed to do. Priest: All right, my son. You can start by telling me your sins. Jerry: Well, I’m Jewish. Priest: Well that’s no sin,. Jerry: Oh…”

— Jill Franklyn, Peter Mehlman, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Confession, Priests, Catholicism, Jewish, Sin

“Mr. Peterman: Elaine, can you keep a secret? Elaine: No sir, I can’t.”

— Gregg Kavet, Dan O'Keeffe, Andy Robin, Steve Koren, J. Peterman, John O'Hurley, imdb.com

Tagged: Candor, Secrets

“Kramer: You’re becoming one of the glitterati. George: What’s that? Kramer: People who glitter.”

— Sam Kass, Larry David, Tom Gammill, Max Pross, Tom Gammill and Max Pross, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

Tagged: Glitterati

“Audrey: It’s amazing how many beautiful women live in New York. I actually find it kind of intimidating. Kramer: Well, you’re just as pretty as any of them. You just need a nose job.”

— Peter Mehlman, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

Tagged: Nose Job, New York, Bluntless, Too Honest

“Jerry: A house in the Hamptons? George: Yeah. I figured since I was lying about my income for a couple of years, I could afford a fake house in the Hamptons.”

— Steve Lookner, imdb.com

Tagged: Hamptons, Deception, Hubris

“I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think, ‘That’s why I’m not a heterosexual.’”

— Larry Charles, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Heterosexual, Lesbian

“Jerry: This isn’t a good time. Telemarketer: When would be a good time to call back, sir? Jerry: I have an idea, why don’t you give me your home number and I’ll call you back later? Telemarketer: Umm, we’re not allowed to do that. Jerry: Oh, I guess because you don’t want strangers calling you at ho…”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Telemarketing, Revenge

“Divorce is always hard. Especially on the kids. ‘Course I am the result of my parents having stayed together, so ya never know.”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Divorce, Dysfunctional Marriage