Show

American Dad!

The series focuses on an eccentric motley crew that is the Smith family and their three housemates: Father, husband, and breadwinner Stan Smith; his better half housewife, Francine Smith; their college-aged daughter, Hayley Smith; and their high-school-ag

(134 total)

“Stan: Roger? Where did you learn to skate? Roger: On my planet. You really haven't read my MySpace page, have you? You say you have, but you really haven't.”

— Brian Boyle, Mike Barker, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Skate, planet, MySpace, Read, Lies

“Roger: You just earned yourself a week of detention! Hayley: There's no detention in college. Roger: Oh. Right. Well, then I'm taking away fifty points from Gryffindor!!”

— Steve Hely, Mike Barker, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: detention, College, Gryffindor, punishment, Harry Potter

“Ah, Saturday. Sunday's Friday.”

— Brian Boyle, Seth MacFarlane, Mike Barker, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Weekend, Friday, Saturday, Sunday

“Francine: I feel like we're in a rut. Stan: A good rut, like 200 years of democracy or a bad rut, like UNICEF?”

— Mike Shipley, Jim Bernstein, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: rut, Democracy, Good, Bad, UNICEF

“Aw, Steve, your first gropefest. You won't truly appreciate the awkwardness of this moment until you're fondly reminiscing as a 35-year-old homosexual.”

— Etan Cohen, Mike Barker, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Gropefest, Awkwardness, Homosexual

“When you're locked in a cadillac sinking to the bottom of the ocean, you either learn about cars or you die.”

— Mike Shipley, Jim Bernstein, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Cadillac, sinking, Ocean, Cars, Death

“Plus-size women drive our economy with their purchases of Garfield books and Haagen-Dazs.”

— Dan Vebber, Hayley Smith (voice), Rachael MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Plus-size, Women, Economy, Garfield, Häagen-Dazs

“Debbie: Life is a banquet and death is dessert. Steve: I love dessert!”

— Dan Vebber, Steve Smith (voice), Scott Grimes, imdb.com

Tagged: Life, Banquet, Death, dessert

“Ahh, basil and snail poison; the sweet smell of summer.”

— Jonathan Fener, Josh Bycel, Seth MacFarlane, Mike Barker, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Gardening, Basil, snail poison, Summer, Smells Like Summer

“So this is a refugee camp? I have to say, not that bad. There's sun, sand - it's like Arizona. But here they probably celebrate Martin Luther King Day.”

— Jonathan Fener, Josh Bycel, Seth MacFarlane, Mike Barker, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Refugee, Sun, Sand, Arizona, Martin Luther King Day

“Stan, can we stop by church on the way to breakfast? Before I take my first sip of O.J., I like to take a big gulp of Jesus.”

— Erik Durbin, Seth MacFarlane, Mike Barker, Barry Robinson (Vocie), Eddie Kaye Thomas, imdb.com

Tagged: breakfast, Orange Juice, jesus, Church

“Waitress: Breadsticks, courtesy of table four. Stan: Thanks, fellas, thank you. Wave to the nice men, Steve. Not too eager, son, they just bought us bread; they didn't let us take the Jag out for a spin.”

— Nahnatchka Khan, Mike Barker, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Courtesy, Wave, eager, Bread, Jag

“Stan: It's okay, son, you're experiencing a perfectly natural side effect called 'roid rage. Steve: Oh, I'm experiencing a side effect, all right! I have boobs! Stan: Oh, my God! Klaus: I know. Talk about a butterface.”

— Nahnatchka Khan, Seth MacFarlane, Mike Barker, Klaus (voice), Dee Bradley Baker, imdb.com

Tagged: Roid rage, Breast, Side effect, Butterface

“Now that the seeds of mistrust are sprouting, we must harvest them.”

— Kenny Schwartz, Rick Wiener, Seth MacFarlane, Mike Barker, Steve Smith (voice), Scott Grimes, imdb.com

Tagged: Mistrust, seeds, Sprouting, harvest, Metaphor

“A car is simply a means of transporting pizzas. Thankfully the pizzas survived for they contain the dough... of life.”

— Seth MacFarlane, Mike Barker, Alison McDonald, Steve Hely, Mitch, Jeremy Sisto, imdb.com

Tagged: Car, Pizza, dough, Life

“Roger: Hey, with this mortar launcher, we can get back at the kid who went all Tom Sizemore on your eye! Steve: Oh, I wish I could get back at him. I'm gonna dress up as a girl and get him to have sex with me and then say 'Ha! I'm not a girl! You just had sex with a boy that hates you!' Roger: Yes,…”

— Seth MacFarlane, Chris McKenna, Cliff Bole, Steve Smith (voice), Scott Grimes, imdb.com

Tagged: Revenge, Sex, Dress Up As a girl, therapy, Hate

“Hmm... 'Boil water.' What am I, a chemist?”

— Seth MacFarlane, Chris McKenna, Dan Vebber, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Cooking, Boil Water, Instructions, Chemist

“Stan: Damn it, Roger! I've told you a million times: No smoking in the house! Roger: And I told you it's menthol. So it's healthier than an apple.”

— Dan Vebber, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: smoking, healthy, Apple, Menthol

“A cult of murderous housewives. Before 9/11, I wouldn't have believed it. Or at least I'd ask you some follow-up questions. But that's just not the world we live in anymore.”

— Dan Vebber, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Murderous, Cult, World We Live In, 9/11

“So now I was a published writer, but my life had become boring, as boring as a bad metaphor. Or simile. Whatever, I'm not a writer.”

— Chris McKenna, Steve Smith (voice), Scott Grimes, imdb.com

Tagged: writer, Published, simile, Metaphor, Boring