Show

American Dad!

The series focuses on an eccentric motley crew that is the Smith family and their three housemates: Father, husband, and breadwinner Stan Smith; his better half housewife, Francine Smith; their college-aged daughter, Hayley Smith; and their high-school-ag

(134 total)

“Hayley: It's just a nose ring. Stan: It's a gateway piercing. Next thing you know, you'll have a bone for your lip like one of those rain forest people that Sting is always whining about.”

— David Zuckerman, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Nose Ring, rebel, Edgy, Sting, Gateway

“In nature, a horse will not offer you his hoof until you gain his trust.”

— Dan Vebber, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Nature, Horse, Trust, Lessons, Advice

“Your mom's enthusiastic spending is exactly what Jesus had in mind when he invented capitalism.”

— Steve Hely, Laura McCreary, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Spending, Money, jesus, Capitalism, Diss

“Francine, my mother is not manipulating me. Our relationship is completely normal. And if you keep upsetting me, then I'll have to retreat to my safe place between her breasts.”

— Nahnatchka Khan, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Mother Issues, manipulation, Safe Place, breasts, Relationship

“Steve, it's a beautiful afternoon. Shouldn't you be outside with your friends turning my tool shed into Mordor or Endor or... something heartbreaking?”

— Brian Boyle, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Diss, Heartbreaking, Friends, Mordor, nerd

“Doctor says I have a big, spongy cervix. Oh, listen to me bragging about my vagina. It's last week's PTA meeting all over again.”

— Brian Boyle, Erik Durbin, Francine Smith (voice), Wendy Schaal, imdb.com

Tagged: Cervix, bragging, Vagina, PTA, doctor

“Just because snow is the same color as our refrigerator, doesn't mean you know how it works.”

— Jim Bernstein, Chris McKenna, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Snow, Diss, Refrigerator, appliances, How it works

“Wow he is rough on you. He is elephant-making-love-to-a-cat rough on you.”

— Steve Hely, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: rough, Sex, Making Love

“Nothing bonds a family like a dark, horrible secret.”

— Jonathan Fener, Josh Bycel, Seth MacFarlane, Mike Barker, Francine Smith (voice), Wendy Schaal, imdb.com

Tagged: Bonds, Family, dark, horrible, Secret

“Hayley: That dream is a warning. Society's trying to brainwash me to conform, to color inside the lines, to get married and have babies. Well I'm not drinking the Kool-Aid anymore. Francine: Have you tried it with Splenda?”

— Jim Bernstein, David Zuckerman, Hayley Smith (voice), Rachael MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Dream, Society, Brainwash, Marriage, Babies on Planes

“None of us get to choose our fathers, but we do get to choose our father figures. I chose my mother. That set me back a bit.”

— Keith Heisler, Mike Barker, Seth MacFarlane, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Fathers, Father Figure, mother, Choice

“You boys see these owls? Get out of here, owls! Stop pecking at my face! I will not buy your encyclopedias! I can't read your language, I can only speak it.”

— Steve Hely, Seth MacFarlane, Erik Durbin, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Owls, Pecking, Encyclopedias, Read, face

“Oh, I tell a great story and I'm a liar, but Harry Potter does it and he's your favorite writer.”

— Seth MacFarlane, Erik Durbin, Mike Barker, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Liar, Harry Potter, Favorite, writer, Story

“All I have to do is get married by next week and I can get my blender in time for Grey's Anatomy!”

— Erik Durbin, Mike Barker, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: married, Deadline, Blender, Grey's Anatomy

“Can you believe we're going to meet Denzel Washington! He's like Harrison Ford dipped in chocolate!”

— Seth MacFarlane, Erik Durbin, Mike Barker, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Denzel Washington, Harrison Ford, chocolate

“Steve: You mean Jenga? Roger: Well, I think it's pronounced Henga, but if you wanna crap all over the Spanish language, go ahead.”

— Mike Barker, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Jenga, spanish, Language, Pronounced

“Francine: You want your money, you unsupportive jerk? Fine! Here's your $5,000 back. Stan: You made all this in one day? Francine: That's right, I did. Through hard work and giving people incorrect change.”

— Seth MacFarlane, Mike Barker, Francine Smith (voice), Wendy Schaal, imdb.com

Tagged: Money, Cash, Jerk, Unsupportive, Hard Work

“Lies. It's like you have to lie to live. You're a lie-abetic. You have lie-abetes. Twice a day, you have to take a shot of insu-lyin'.”

— Mike Barker, Matt Weitzman, Seth MacFarlane, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Lies, Life, lying, Living a Lie, Puns

“Hayley: What happened to the land of the free? These people have the right to be here. Stan: People? They're parasites sucking on the rich blood of America. And we need that blood to shed for oil.”

— Mike Barker, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Land of the free, Parasites, America, Blood, oil

“Isn't this the Hollywood Stock Exchange? You know, where you buy and sell celebrity stocks based on the ups and down of their careers?”

— Chris McKenna, Mike Barker, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Hollywood, Stock Exchange, celebrity, Socks, Careers