Big Mouth

“My bros and I are developing a shitstorm worth of extreme sports, like 'breakball,' 'golf punch,' and 'peep-kour.'”

— Victor Quinaz, Jess Dweck, Jay Bilzerian, Jason Mantzoukas, imdb.com

“Jay: I 100% fuck my pillow. First, I make a slit. Not too long, careful as to not rip the edges, making what I call 'the husband stitch'. Then, I take two Ziploc bags and I fill them with Amy's Organic Lentil Soup, which I microwave to exactly 98. 6 degrees not enough to burn you, but just enough to…”

— Victor Quinaz, Jess Dweck, Jay Bilzerian, Jason Mantzoukas, imdb.com

“No! Oh, fuck a duck. I'm gonna go? I'm gonna go... fuck a duck.”

— Kelly Galuska, Maurice "Maury" Hormone Monster, Nick Kroll, imdb.com

“It's not for me but people will like it. It's Starbucks. It's what America wants.”

— Kelly Galuska, Matthew, Andrew Rannells, imdb.com

“Listen to me! You want to shoplift lipstick, you want to listen to Lana Del Rey on repeat while you cut up all your T-shirts. You want to scream at your mother and then laugh at her tears!”

— Kelly Galuska, Connie the Hormone Monstress , Maya Rudolph, imdb.com

“Ms. Benitez: Oh! Steve! Look at you all dressed up. Coach Steve: Well, it’s a special day! Ms. Benitez: And you’re a special guy. Coach Steve: And I’d kill anyone for you! Ms. Benitez: Well, that’s not necessary… Coach Steve: Oh, that’s a relief, because I’d do it, but it would weigh on me.”

— Kelly Galuska, Coach Steve, Nick Kroll, imdb.com

“I gotta be honest with you. I know I seem like a real gigolo, but actually I’m a little nervous because I’m a total virgin.”

— Joe Wengert, Coach Steve, Nick Kroll, imdb.com

“Coach Steve: I feel kind of nervous, you know? I’m just a little fuzzy on the details. Hormone Monster: Come on, you got it baby. Coach Steve: I think I put my pener in her sweetie? Hormone Monster: That’s it, man! Your penner is a choo-choo train and her sweetie is a townie.”

— Joe Wengert, Coach Steve, Nick Kroll, imdb.com

“Shame Wizard: You truly are an enigma. Coach Steve: You're not supposed to say that word anymore.”

— Joe Wengert, Coach Steve, Nick Kroll, imdb.com

“Jenna Bilzerian: Steve, do you ever get lonely? Coach Steve: Of course not. I remain lonely.”

— Joe Wengert, Coach Steve, Nick Kroll, imdb.com

“You could have been lured into an electronics store by a pushy Israeli and forced to buy a camera you don’t want.”

— Peter Knight, Barbara Glouberman , Paula Pell, imdb.com

“Woody Allen was accused of molestation. He says he didn’t do it, but he did marry his stepdaughter. It is both very complicated and very simple.”

— Kelly Galuska, Caleb, Joe Wengert, imdb.com

“Jessi, I loved it. A few small thoughts. You sang great. The breath in here is… it’s terrible.”

— Kelly Galuska, Nick, Nick Kroll, imdb.com

“This place looks like the Holocaust Museum.”

— Jess Dweck, Victor Quinaz, Andrew, John Mulaney, imdb.com

“Good night, you prince of Westchester, you king of the tri-state area.”

— Andrew Goldberg, Nick Kroll, Maurice "Maury" Hormone Monster, Nick Kroll, imdb.com

“She’s the worst. I hate how she ‘huchs’ her words.”

— Kelly Galuska, Jessi, Jessi Klein, imdb.com

“Andrew: What, like a show about a bunch of kids masturbating? Nick: Isn't that technically child pornography? Maurice: Holy shit, I hope not! I mean, maybe if it's animated, we could get away with it. Right?”

— Gil Ozeri, Maurice "Maury" Hormone Monster, Nick Kroll, imdb.com

“Nick: Are we really doing the Electric Slide right now? Andrew: I guess. It is a bat mitzvah.”

— Kelly Galuska, Andrew, John Mulaney, imdb.com

“Look, I know this all seems embarrassing right now but maybe one day, you'll look back on this time fondly and perhaps even make something beautiful out of it.”

— Gil Ozeri, Maurice "Maury" Hormone Monster, Nick Kroll, imdb.com

“Miss G: Okay, Steve, you're going to have to learn your letters. Coach Steve: Well, obviously, I know the big song. Teepee, fat guy, sideways moon, other fat guy, sideways comb! Miss G: Wow. That is a song.”

— Duffy Boudreau, Coach Steve, Nick Kroll, imdb.com