Show
Seinfeld
by Larry Charles, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tom Cherones, Barbara Stock and 696 others
Seinfeld is an American television sitcom that originally aired on NBC from July 5, 1989, to May 14, 1998. It lasted nine seasons, and is now in syndication. It was created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld, the latter starring as a fictionalized version
(684 total)
Seasons
Characters
“So let me ask you a question about the tip jar. I had a little thing with the calzone guy this week. I go to drop a buck in the tip jar and just as I am about to drop it in he looks the other way. And then when I am leaving he gives me this look think thanks for nothing. I mean, if they don't notice…”
— Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com
“When I find something I like, I stick with it. From 1973 to 1982 I ate the exact same lunch every day: turkey chili in a bowl made out of bread. Bread bowl, George. First you eat the chili then you eat the bowl. There's nothing more satisfying than looking down after lunch and seeing nothing but a t…”
— Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, George Steinbrenner, Larry David, imdb.com
“Swinging? What are you, out of your mind? Look at you, you're disgusting. You're bald, you're paunchy, all kinds of sounds are emanating from your body twenty-four hours a day. If there's a woman that can take your presence for more than ten consecutive seconds, you should hang on to her like grim d…”
— Marjorie Gross, Peter Mehlman, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com
“I know what you're going through. I too once fell under the spell of opium. It was 1979. I was travelling the Yangtze in search of a Mongolian horsehair vest. I had got to the market after sundown. All of the clothing traders had gone, but a different sort of trader still lurked about. ‘Just a taste…”
— Marjorie Gross, Peter Mehlman, J. Peterman, John O'Hurley, imdb.com
“Yeah, I got some family backstage. Course my family's nuts; they're crazy. Yep. My uncle Leo. I had lunch with him the other day, he's one of these guys that anything goes wrong in life, he blames it on anti-Semitism. You know what I mean, the spaghetti's not al dente? Cook's an anti-Semite. Loses a…”
— Marjorie Gross, Peter Mehlman, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com
“OK, look. We've never worked together on a lie. Now, you don't understand how I work. I have a certain way of working. Jerry and I have worked together a few times. He knows how I work. It's not a personal thing, y'know? We're just trying to come up with the best possible lie. That's what this is al…”
— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com
“All right. Anyway, the point I was making before Goebbels made your hamburger is a man like you could be dating women twenty years younger. C'mon, Uncle Leo, I've seen the way women look at you. When's the last time you looked in a mirror? You're an Adonis! You've got beautiful features, lovely skin…”
— Marjorie Gross, Peter Mehlman, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com