Show

American Dad!

The series focuses on an eccentric motley crew that is the Smith family and their three housemates: Father, husband, and breadwinner Stan Smith; his better half housewife, Francine Smith; their college-aged daughter, Hayley Smith; and their high-school-ag

(134 total)

“Jeff: Roger said I have to stay in the closet because I'm dead. Do I get to be alive, now? Hayley: Sorry, babe. Jeff: It's okay. I've got my animal crackers and my bathroom bucket.”

— Paul Stroud, Jeff Fischer (Voice), Jeff Fischer, imdb.com

Tagged: dead, Hiding, Animal Crackers, Bathroom Bucket

“I gotta take this. It's my ac-clown-tant... you know, a clown-accountant. He's got this giant calculator that only ever adds up to boobs. Pretty funny, but frankly, I think he's been stealing from me.”

— Paul Stroud, Jeff Kauffmann, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: accountant, Calculator, Addition, Stealing, Money

“Snot: Hanukkah's always been second fiddle to Christmas. We don't have any catchy songs or Santa. This is a tough time of the year for us. Roger: Are there, or have there ever been, other tough times for Jewish people? Snot: Yes.”

— Paul Stroud, Teresa Hsiao, Snot (Voice), Curtis Armstrong, imdb.com

Tagged: Hannukah, Songs, Tough Time, Year, Jewish

“So kids, if you want presents from Schmanta this year, don't put out milk and cookies, put out lox and bagels. And call your mother, she's very worried about you.”

— Brian Boyle, Paul Stroud, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Lox and Bagels, Call Your Mother, Jewish, stereotypes, presents

“Text bubbles are made out of flesh-eating bacteria. You didn't know that?”

— Sam Brenner, Kathryn Borel, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Text Bubbles, flesh eating bacteria, Shock, Knowledge

“In a hundred years, when there’s a million jerks riding around Manhattan drunk in limos, the west will seem like a paradise.”

— Kathryn Borel, Sam Brenner, Brian Boyle, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Jerks, Manhatten, Drunk, West, Better places

“My roses are like bones in a desert.”

— Kathryn Borel, Sam Brenner, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Roses, Bones, dessert, Simile Examples

“It had been days since Hayley watched MasterChef Junior with me. I told her I'd wait for her, but I didn't. I couldn't. Peyton made a souffle. Eight years old, making a souffle. Imagine that.”

— Sam Brenner, Kathryn Borel, Joel Hurwitz, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Master chef, Souffle, Imagine

“I've been experimenting with steroids. It's awesome! Now I wear tank tops with the thinnest straps you've ever seen.”

— Kathryn Borel, Sam Brenner, Charles Suozzi, Klaus (voice), Dee Bradley Baker, imdb.com

Tagged: Steroids, Thin Straps, Tank Top, Buff

“Hayley: Where did you get a pregnancy test with sound effects? Jeff: At Spencer's Gifts.”

— Kathryn Borel, Sam Brenner, Teresa Hsiao, Jeff Fischer (Voice), Jeff Fischer, imdb.com

Tagged: Spencer's, gifts, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Test

“Well suck me off through a hole and call me Rick Steves, what is this?”

— Kathryn Borel, Sam Brenner, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Suck me off, Excitement, Rick Steves, curious

“I love myself all the time. At least once in the morning, and usually right before I go to sleep.”

— Jeff Kauffmann, Kathryn Borel, Sam Brenner, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Love, love myself, everyday, Evening, Morning

“Stan: Uh... if I didn't care about historical accuracy, would I have stolen the actual Spirit of St. Louis from the Smithsonian? Steve: What?! Stan: The toughest part was convincing the guard I came in with it.”

— Kathryn Borel, Sam Brenner, Jeff Kauffmann, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: History, Stealing, convincing, Smithsonian, Gaurd

“You were just humming the Cheers theme song and shitting yourself.”

— Jeff Kauffmann, Klaus (voice), Dee Bradley Baker, imdb.com

Tagged: Cheers, Theme Song, Shitting, Poop, high

“You sound like the cops. They've given up on the case already too. To them, I'm just one more white kid who got stabbed in a bowling alley.”

— Jeff Kauffmann, Steve Smith (voice), Scott Grimes, imdb.com

Tagged: Cops, Given Up, case, Stabbed, Bowling Alley

“Pedophile: So, uh, which boy is yours? Stan: The hot one, duh.”

— Jeff Kauffmann, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Pedophile, Hot, Attractive, Son, obvious

“News flash bong brain, I never pull out. Boom-shaka-lacka.”

— Jeff Kauffmann, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Brain, Pull-Out, New Flash

“When I joined the CIA, I knew the deal. If we make a mistake, we cover it up. Like the time Dick accidentally created feline AIDS and we covered it up by blaming it on gay cats.”

— Charles Suozzi, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: gay, Blame, CIA, cover it up, cats

“[when The Smiths discover the pile of salt in the ground] Steve: White, dusty oil? Francine: Lawn dandruff? Klaus: A third ridiculous guess?”

— Kirk J. Rudell, Klaus (voice), Dee Bradley Baker, imdb.com

Tagged: salt, Ridiculous, guessing, Clues, Uncertainty

“I was supposed to be on that bus, but there was a lady with a chicken on there. What is this, like, Guatemala? What the hell? Leave your bird at home, lady.”

— Teresa Hsiao, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: bus, chicken, bird, Lady with bird, Guatemala